There's
always been some mystery about the Mr. Accessory. Where did it come
from? How did ancient Loathers use them? Some thought has always danced
through all of our heads.
Some believe that the Mr. Accessory was a fingernail that fell
off the gods in Valhalla after they mashed their thumb with a magical
hammer. Some imagine that they just appeared to ruin monsters' lives.
All this speculation and still no real answers came to be.
Nonetheless, why they were there was not a reason once
andventurers learned of their power. Citizens of Loathing decided began
to realize the awesome power which came from equipping once of these
"accessories."
The citizens of Loathing decided to create contests allowing
adventurers to compete with the use of the Mr. Accessories they
obtained. These contests were called the Loatherly Games.
The Loatherly Games consisted of several games that used the
power of the Mr. Accessory to its fullest. The first game was the
Gnome-Tossing Contest. Needlesss to say, the grandfather of Hagnk, whom
we all know and love, happened to be the only Gnome left in Seaside
Town...
A second game was the Running-Into-Graffiti Wall. This,
perhaps one of the most idiotic game, required adventurers to run face
first into the graffiti wall as many times as possible. Not many were
standing up straight after that particular game.
Then there was the Footrace with the Rushing Bums. Sadly, not
many Adventurers could still outrun the Bums even with three Mr.
Accessories. They tended to have more fun tripping them and watching
them squirm only to hop up and sprint away.
As these games began to lose their luster, class type specific
ones came up that were held more frequently now that more and more
Adventurers were getting into the Loatherly Games. It was also a way
for the Council to pick prime candidates to do quests in which they
were too busy to complete themselves.
The first game was for the Muscle-based Guild. These men and
women of strength were to face off against the many-armed big creepy
spiders and the well-muscled Knob Goblins. Sadly to say, these
wrestling matches were quite... unsanitary, to say the least.
The second game was for the Mysticality-based Guild. The men
and women of magic were to attempt to de-animate undead elbow macaroni
and possessed cans from the Pantry. The catch: They weren't allowed to
just straight up kill them.
The third game was for the Moxie-based Guild. The sneakiest
men and women were to steal the pants off of drunken and hungover
half-orc hobos. Like everything else there was a downside. When in a
crowd of the half-orc hobos, they tend to smell worse than a throng of
filthy hippies.
The brave men and women were sent off by the Council, and
everyone else trained for the next year. As the years passed,
Adventurer's caught on to the Council's plans, and decided to just
bypass this and attempt fighting with the Mr. Accessories in the first
place.
Some smart Adventurers began to collect these Mr. Accessories
believing that one day meat would fall behind the use of the shiny
accessory as once did the beans did to meat. These lucky Adventurers
weren't too far off.
Mysteriously, a store appeared within the Market. This store,
ironically called Mr. Store, didn't deal in currency of meat. The
storeowner, who oddly resembled the weird accessory, believed meat to
be dirty and unsightly and thought that dealing in a strict currency of
Mr. Accessories was ideal.
Adventurers flocked to sell off their Mr. Accessories in
effort to gather some of the wares which this mysterious man held.
Today, Adventurers still deal in Mr. Accessories in Mr. Store.
Sadly, we still know little about the Mr. Accessory himself.
His creepy smile somehow holds the magical properties which forces
power upon his user. And somehow, by gaining some weird papery currency
from another world, one is bestowed with a Mr. Accessory through a
short, bizarre sacrifical ritual.
